Some Drunk Loven
by Pathetic4HeadedMassOfTentacles
Summary: The Boss could never hold her booze, and Shaundi hated her little drunken rants, so who would be a better babysitter for a very drunk Boss than the man she loves? RussianFem!Boss x Pierce


I finally fucking got it! After a few months of thinking and playing Saints row three again, I finally got it.

Seriously though, I'm a bit surprised at this. Considering how in the end of Three way the Russian girl said she wanted to make love with Peirce. Are the people blind or deaf at this? Then again Pierce does have hs gay moments... Whatever, point is that I'm gonna make this myself.

Note: I will keep this how I like it, not an OC, you can imagine your own character in this. So I won't use any names or (at least to much) physical descriptions of this character, all you need to know is that she's the Russian voice. Or which ever one you want, why should I care?

Note, Pierce and Shuandi are a bit OOC, but since Shaundi is already OOC in the damn game, what does it mater? And maybe the boss, but seeing as how each voice has their own distinct personality, oh fuck I don't know.

Unrelated, I wish Mr. Sunshine was in Saints Row 4... And Carlos, and Lin... and Aisha, and maybe the Ronin assholes. And what the fuck happened to Donnie? I know he was just the mechanic... but he was cute... Damnit Volation you left out some bits and you better make a DLC fixing some of those missed bits

* * *

The boss loved drinking.

The sad thing is the boss couldn't hold her liquor quite well.

Or anything for that matter, even now it was like she needed someone to supervise her whenever she was at the bar, even at the one in the Saints HQ. Drinking shots of vodka (Yay, stereotypes!) or just downing the whole bottle. It didn't matter seeing as how she got drunk real quickly. And how she had nothing to be pissed off about and having her few random killings today, she was happy, and so she was a happy drunk. It was, arguably, better than her being pissed off and drunk, but it was still annoying for Shaundi either way.

It was her turn, looking after the boss, it was always good to have someone look out for when it came to this, just incase, better safe than sorry. At least that's how Shaundi now puts it, we lost Gat, no need to loose the Boss as well. But back than, she would have joined the boss, smacking the male members of the Saints' asses, at least those who were dressed like gimps and laughing at all the stupid things, like at Shaundi's ex-boyfriends and all the stupid things they did, while trying not the bring Veteran Child into the subject. But it was different, and the bosses drunken rants about god knows what was getting kinda annoying.

But like almost every other night, it was about boys. The boss fucking loved boys, even the ones who tried to kill her.

"That Matt Miller kid…" The boss slurred, downing another shot of a mix of whatever the gimp bartender could understand from her slurred request for another drink. "Even though he was screaming like a little pussy in the end... I'm pretty sure he was turned on by it, right?" She nudged Shaundi, expecting the answer. She rolled her eyes over towards the boss, which was enough for the boss to go on about her weird little assumption.

"Honestly, young, body filled to the brink of whatever it is teens are filled of, how could he not get turned on by a sexy woman holding a gun to his face?" She chuckled, a stupid grin wide across her face as she grabbed another shot. Vain, she always considered herself sexy, despite most of her body being covered in tattoo's that Mareo would have another competition being that he wasn't dead, well, besides her face, because fucking rusty needles doesn't do full face. Giggling, she continued, "I'd bet he's the kind of kid who'd like to go to safeword, or maybe be tricked into it." She giggled with her little thought, "Oh if only he wasn't such a bitch and I was holding a gun to his face in real life!" She roused, throwing her head back. Grabbing another shot, she threw her head back, downing it, "I bet he had a thing for Kinzie, I can't understand what the fuck they're saying half the time and both are hackers." (Which essentially meant the same thing) "I wouldn't mind a threeway..." Another shot, her head back, (Props to the barkeeper, smart to keep them coming) and downed it. "And I have to admit, the Decker's do have style. And real or not, he did look kinda cute." Even through her drunken thought process. If there was even one to begin with, she remembered Shaundi wasn't there. Not bothering to ask what she thought about the subject, she never seen Matt. Hell, none of them have, at least in the real world. (except for Kinzie) "He's Kinzie's age, 16 yes? A perfect age!" She exclaimed, she loved the younger ones, 16 was her limit, but with multiple counts of arson and a murder count in the thousands, what was stopping her from dragging even younger boy into her sex life?

"Then there was that Mr. Sunshine guy, I had to admit, it was fun killing him-" And sometimes the boss went to the more disturbing ones, like Mr. Sunshine, the general. And she wouldn't admit it, she thought Jyunichi was sexy, but still, she wouldn't admit it to herself, or let alone Shaundi because of Aisha's death. The boss frowned a bit, there were times when her lust scared herself. But hey, she can't help that she loves boys.

Shaundi sighed, placing her head on her hand with her other hand wrapped around her half filled bottle of beer. The boss heard this sigh and looked over at Shaundi, mostly the half full bottle of beer in her hands. The boss scowled, "Hey, you gonna finish that?" She asked.

"No."

Boss growled, she noticed how grouchy Shaundi has gotten, a few years ago Shaundi was completely different, and for some reason in these drunk fits can she actually notice. Or at least say something about it. "Why the fuck not?"

"Because it really wouldn't be smart for both of us to get drunk when I'm supposed to make sure you don't do something stupid." The boss growled at Shaundi's remark, but smiled again, punching her playfully on the arm and chuckled.

"Hey, that was mean!" She laughed, "But I still don't need anyone to babysit me."

"Well getting drunk with Oleg and nearly falling off the helicopter pad dosen't help."

"It was all in good fun, Kinzie." The Boss laughed, neither her or Shaundi correcting her when she called Shaundi 'Kinzie'.

Shaundi sighed, but a few moments later she felt the boss tap on her shoulder again, her eyes widen as something inside her snapped.

"WHAT?!" She snapped, facing the boss angrily.

The boss recoiled a bit, shocked by this out burst, her eye brows furrowed together as she leaned a bit closer to Shaundi.

"You know, I was gonna say sorry for calling you Kinzie, but" The boss said, downing another shot and leaned forward and poking Shaundi's shoulder, "I've noticed a lot of things changed about you. Noramlly…" She burped, getting abit closer, Shaundi could smell the alcohol in her breath, and small traces of vomit for when the boss burped up a mixture of beer and bile. It made Shaundi sick, "Normally you'd actually respond to these types of things, and maybe even encourage me with this shit-but noooo" She tilted her head side to side, "You're 'work, work, work!' What the hell happened to you? You used to be fun! Now look at you," She gestured Shaundi, "All stuck up and glossy, what happened to those dreadlocks? Those had personality instead of this! Hell, even your voice changed!" She exclaimed, gesturing Shaundi, almost falling back before managing to grab onto her seat before she could do so.

"Well I've grown up a bit, besides I minus well do something usefull."

The Boss was taken back by how Shaundi said that, "But you are useful, Shaundi!"

"Please, Pierce was right, the most useful thing I did was wait for information from the guys I fucked."

"It was useful, Pierce only bitched about him not doing anything!"

Shaundi sighed, although she agreed with the dreadlocks, those were easier to maintain, but still, having enough of this she sat up from the bar stool. It was painful seeing as how the Boss perfered her old self, she changed for the better, for public image as well. But the Boss, she was unable to change (besides gender and appearence and race), what wouldnshe know? Her movment so sudden the boss almost fell over again. The boss grabbed onto the ledge of the bar and lifted herself to look at Shaundi.

"Hey!" The boss lifted herself a bit, "Where're you goin'?" She asked.

Shaundi didn't respond, but she knew she couldn't just leave the boss alone, she looked around. Walking down the stair case, she caught sight of someone on the couch, and on the couch she saw just who she wanted to see. A hopeful smile spread across Shaundi's face, "Hey, Pierce!" Shaundi shouted a bit, thinking that Pierce was asleep, which she was correct about seeing as how a flipped out upon hearing his name. Trying to sit up while trying not to fall off the couch, once coordinating himself, he stuttered, "I'm awake." And trying to figure out where Shaundi was. Looking over the couch he saw Shaundi, her arms crossed and a smile on her face, a few times the Boss actually said something about her loving Peirce, and maybe this would end well. A very entertaining end...

"Hey Pierce, can you do me a favor?" Shaundi asked, stepping down the stairs while keeping her eyes one Peirce.

Pierce cocked an eye at Shaundi, usually Shaundi didn't ask for favours (as of recent when she changed to boring Shaundi) and when she did, it usually didn't end well for Peirce. Then again, when did things ever go well for Pierce?

"Oh?" He said in a somewhat skeptical tone, "And what would that be?"

"Can you look after the boss? She piss drunk and it's starting to piss me off." She said, laughter in her voice.

Peirce scowled, he wasn't the only one who hated the job of babysitting a very drunk boss. "Oh no, it's your turn this time." He sat up, pointing at Shaundi, Shaundi simply scowled.

"No, last week was Oleg, and he wasn't even doing that. He was happily singing songs in Russian with the boss while you were trying to stay out of their way."

"Hey, when a big motherfucker like Oleg is drunk with someone like the boss, it's a bad idea to be in their path." Shaundi had to agree with Pierce on that, but wasn't gonna say anything about it.

"Either way, the boss needs someone to watch after her-" Shaundi was cut off when from atop the stairway came a drunken call.

"Pierce?!" From the arch that led to the bar, the very drunk boss walked through, an empty bottle in her hand and a smile wide across her face.

Shaundi only chuckled, "She's all yours." Shaundi said before walking towards the elevator, even though part of her wanted to be around to see what would come from this.

"Wait!" Pierce stumbled, trying to catch up to Shaundi before he head the boss come down the stairwell, there were not many smart idea's when it came to being around the boss, and running away from her (especially when you're the object of her affection) was one of them. Pierce turned to the stairwell, and he saw the boss hold desperately onto the railing, trying not to fall. "Hey Pierce, why don't you help me, you don't want the leader of the Saints to die a pathetic death now do you?" Peirce gulped and went up the stairs to where the boss was, she was about halfway down but that was probably her limit when it came to unassisted 'walking down the stairs drunk'. Pierce lifted one of the boss's arms around his back and the boss wrapped herself around him with a small giggle. Pierce was warm, just like she imagined he would be.

Pierce slowly walked down the stairs, the boss trying to keep up with him as she took her time, staying in Pierces arms. Wait... Pierce! This was fucking Pierce! She grinned a bit, wrapping her arms around his waist. Pierce gasped a bit and blushed, a happy hum came from the boss, "What's the matter, Pierce?" Pierce didn't respond, he was a bit nervous actually, the boss was pretty fucking scary with her outbursts of violence and sometimes streaking through the penthouse and a bunch of other random crap that defined their boss. Pierce was only hoping the Boss wouldn't do something weird. But that was asking for to much, especially for someone like Pierce. "You have suck strong arms, Pierce." She muttered. Pierce leave an odd glance, but she was drunk anyway, so really he didn't think much of it.

Getting down the bottom of the stairs, Pierce allowed the boss to free herself from his grip, but rather than freeing herself she just slipped from him from lack of support, stumbling, laughing, she tried to regain her posture with that stupid grin wide across her face. She looked over at Pierce, he looked different, so blurred out but nonetheless the boss still wanted him. She always did, and when she was drunk, she was impulsive, make that more because she already is. Too impulsive...

"Pierce." She giggled, stumbling towards Pierce, before he could get out of her path she fell onto him, wrapping her arms around his waist tight enough to squeeze the air out of his lungs. "Hey~ Pierce." She burped, "How's a goin'?" She chuckled, her head nuzzling up again his torso as she held onto him.

"Where ya goin'?" She asked, her lipstick rubbing off on Peirce's jacket, a visibal stain of dark green now present in the shape of smeared lips, she could smell the colonge off of Pierce, stale smelling and it smelt awful, but she didn't mind. She was simply happy like this, finding Pierce's squirming amusing, and not taking notice that Pierce was scared out of his fucking mind right now.

"Uh, nowhere." he chuckled nervously.

"Oh, ok, I thought you were trying to run away or something like Shaundi." Well, it really wasn't running away, it was just her getting tired of the boss being drunk and letting out her hopeless romantic side, or booze just making her horny, but wanting to fuck the nearest thing with a penis didn't have anything to do with the fact that she wanted Pierce in her bed.

"Hey, were you even listening when we had that fight against those Mexican wrestlers and some terrorist organization?" She laughed, leaning most of her weight on to Pierce to a point he was starting to stumble backwards, the boss took note of this and moved with him. Pierce gasped a bit as he and the boss continued to move with each other, almost like some sort of dance. Before they even thought of looking backwards Pierce let out of yelp as he felt himself hit something, hitting the arm rest on the large couch, tripping and falling back into the couch, The boss on top.

The Boss simply chuckled as she supported herself on her arms, her face now level with Pierces, giggling, Pierce was trying to figure out what just happened, upon opening his eyes he was staring right into the Boss's eyes. And her abnormally small pupils made her look more like a psychopath that she already is, or was, considering how she mellowed out in the past year or so. But it doesn't make her any less terrifying, "What?" He asked, starting to panic a bit. The boss simply chuckled, brushing her hand across Peirce's hat, making it fall off, revealing his shaved head, the boss hummed joyfully as she peeked her hand under and ran her hand across his fuzzy head. (With writing that, I just realized we never see Pierce with his hat off)

"Uh, Boss?" He asked, nervous, the Boss simply looked at him and giggled, pressing her self against him, wrapping her arms around his neck and swinging her legs back and forth.

"You didn't answer my question, Pierce, did you hear what I said?" She tilted her head slightly, her smile vanishing.

Pierce was trying to remember, it was hard to hear through all the bullets and pained cries of Luachadors and Stag reinforcements that seemed to be poured over them, he did hear his name, and judging bow how she's acting now, it was beginning to come back to him, "Sorta, it was kinda hard to hear, you know." He smiled, she closed her eyes and smiled happily.

"You're so funny! I thought you'd be really happy to hear that someone gives a fuck about you!" She exclaimed, patting Pierce's chest with a few half-hearted slaps. She bent down, bringing her lips to his ears, "I want to make love with you." She whispered, Pierce's eyes widen, now he remembers. Lifting her head and looking around, seeing all the members of the Saints, most of which men in gimp outfits, "This isn't a live studio audience, but people are watching, so!" Bring her hands to the opening of his jacket and spreaded it a bit, showing the purple button up shirt. She knew how Pierce liked it, slow, after all casual sex wasn't his thing and this was anything BUT casual for the boss. One by one she slowly undid the buttons on Peirce's shirt, that stupid drunken grin plastered on her face as slowly dark skin was revealed towards her and it made her mouth water.

"Uh, boss?" Pierce's breathing started to get a bit faster as he tried not to panic, "What are you-"

Cut off by a pair of plump lips against his, the boss shut him up. Soft as they were, he could taste the alcohol on her lips, it wasn't till she managed to wiggle her tongue inside of his mouth could he taste the blood and bile and it made him nauseous. He tried his best to keep himself from gagging, last thing he needs to do is upset the boss, and the last time that happened... Pierce ignored the taste, as hard as it was and slowly went with the Boss. Although staying stiff as a board as she ran her hand across the exposed skin on his chest.

The Boss parted, felling the anxiousness radiating from Pierce. She tilted her head, an upset look came across her face and with every little emotion of disappointment that came across her face the more frightened Pierce became.

"What is the matter? Are you not enjoying it, Pierce?" She asked, trailing a finger across his chest.

Pierce nodded frantically, "No! I am it's just, you were so sudden and-"

The Boss laughed her boisterous laugh, patting Pierce's chest, even if Pierce wasn't enjoying it, she was still enjoying how frightened he was getting, it was amusing really. "You're so cute Pierce!" She exclaimed, throwing he head back in her fit of laughter as a confused expression came over Pierce's face.

Looking back at the confused Pierce, she trailed a hand towards one cheek as she leaned downs and began to plant wet kisses on the other, with each kiss her dark green lip stick left a puckered lip shaped stain on his cheek and a loud _'Smooch!' _ With every kiss she left before giving another peck on Pierce's lips. She could feel the shocked glances from the other Saints, probably the fact that Pierce is getting any love because, as we all know, no one gives a fuck about Pierce.

"Tell me Pierce, am I a good kisser?" She asked, her head tilted and a dreamy look in her eyes. She was a good kisser, it's just the inside of her mouth tasted like vomit. Maybe if she was sober, it would be better, right? But more risky, considering that this was the Boss, and being in a relationship with someone like her wasn't exactly the safest road.

"Uh, yeah..." He chuckled, play it off, the Boss simply giggled and kissed him again, longer this time and with a slight moan before she parted, the lipstick on her lips faded from all the kisses on Pierce's cheek, chuckling again she became mush against him, her weight pressing down on him and Pierce couldn't help but blush as he felt her breasts press against him, they weren't cherries, he'll tell you that much. Wrapping her arms around the back of his head and nuzzling his chest, she made a happy noise quite uncharacteristic to her common mannerisms, but she was drunk, wasn't she?

"Hehe, thank you Pierce, it's really nice hearing someone say that." She frowned a bit, a guilty expression on her face as if she was thinking about something, it was really starting to scare Pierce as she leaned down and placed a kiss on his forehead, and began to speak again "you know it's weird how your so good to me despite treating you like shit." She once again smiled, and giggled, "I like loyalty, despite how many times we make you seem like a total bitch." She frowned, a somewhat confused expression on her face, "To tell truth, I like you better than Shaundi now, sure you changed your whole appearance, but still, at least you act the same, still the ass of everyone's jokes. But maybe I should just say this." Once again dipping down and pressing a firm kiss upon Pierce's lips, hot, burning and somewhat wet as the salivation in the bosses mouth could flood Steelport, upon parting, her lips dropped with their mixed saliva ske whispered against his lip, "I love you, Pierce."

"Uh..." Pierce wasn't sure what to think of it, so his reply was an equally unsure 'Thank you?' and another hummed laugh from the boss. But really from all the abuse, he should be grateful the Boss can tell him something like that, but she was drunk, did she actually mean it?

"Oh, don't be shy Pierce, just another kiss on te lips." She pointed at her lips,Pierce shrugged and snaked his hand around the Bosses head and pulled her down for a kiss. The Boss made a slight squee of delight as Pierce was actually kissing her this time, and really, it was a nice change that someone gave a fuck about him. Upon parting the Boss looked him in the eye again and that grin once again come upon her face. "You are a cutie and a great kisser!" She said in delight. "Just lets hope Shaundi didn't hear any of that!"

It only made Pierce more uncomfortable the longer he stared into those small as hell pupils. Pierce gulped, wondering what he should do, but once again the Boss lowered her head and rested on Pierce's chest. With that he realized how much of an awkward position he's in, maybe he should wait till the Boss goes to sleep and slip carefully from her grip, that would be best. So he waited, letting the Boss stay how she is wrapped around him, her grip tight, and despite her looks, she was quite heavy. Of course to lug around a mini gun you can't be a skinny girl like Kinzie, so Pierce would probably disturb her if he was to lift her. He heard loud snored come from her and she was all dead weight now, and impossible to wake up, he sighed, wrapping his arms around the boss and looking out the window, seeing the night sky and just how late it was getting. Pierce just noticed how heavy his eyelids were getting and slowly they began to flutter shut, before he knew it he was passed out with the homicidal woman that is the leader of the Third Streets Saints passed out in his arms. It was almost hard to believe that she actually loved him, last Pierce checked he was just the butt of everyones joke. But for once he wasn't, and he didn't mind that one bit once he got to thinking about it. But it had to be her, a fuze so short that the only way out is was if she got sick of you, and that might end up with you getting killed.

But what was Pierce thinking? She wouldn't just kill one of her lieutenants just because they rejected her, but they might be on her bad side for a while before she goes over to some other guy, it wasn't the first time, and it sure as hell won't be the last.

But one thing was certain in Pierce's mind, that Shaundi would get a fucking kick out of seeing this.


End file.
